The Art of Teaching

Sometimes, I really doubt myself as a teacher.

I doubt my skills to teach properly, creatively, and to make that light bulb go off in my students' minds. Sometimes I even doubt that I truly want this as my career. I notice that tends to happen when there has been a gap between jobs, and it has been a while since I was teaching. I suppose that time away from the classroom is correlated to my doubts. Possibly, the separation exacerbates my fears, which causes me to doubt what I want.

But, then... I stand in front of my students, and I teach them the language that I love. And it all clicks back into place.

I recently started a new leave replacement job teaching ASL to high school students, grades 10 - 12. I have replaced a teacher out on maternity leave until December.

I have two classes of level 1, and one class with a mix of level 2 and 3. The mixed class can be frustrating, as they are clearly at different places in learning the language, and so different lessons and activities need to be planned for one class. However, the students are very motivated, and are pleasant in class. There have been no behavioral issues, and it doesn't seem like there will be very many, if any. Plus, many of them want to continue with ASL beyond high school.

The same goes for the two level 1 classes. I only have one student in one of the classes who seems apathetic, but we'll see how that goes. Though sometimes too chatty in a class learning a visual language where it is vital to pay attention and keep voices off, they are still good, bright kids and I think we will both learn a lot from each other. I hope I'm not speaking too soon when I say that it looks like I have a great group of students for the next few months.

Back to standing in front of them center of attention. I used to hate it.

Source

Any time I had a project in school that had to be presented in front of the class, I hated it. Except for ASL.

During any other class presentation or speech, I became so nervous automatically. I felt I could barely breathe, my hands would shake, and I would forget absolutely everything I wanted to say. Except in ASL.

ASL class was the only time I felt comfortable enough to make a presentation or act out a conversation or skit in front of my peers. And I want my students to feel that same level of comfort with me. Now that I am in the opposite position, teaching others this beautiful language, I am still no longer afraid. The only thing I still fear is that my lessons are not creative enough and I will not teach effectively to make them understand, but I just chalk that up to nerves. I've learned from the best, and I therefore strive to give my students the best I can.

P.S. None of these people are me. Source

This week, after stepping back into the classroom, I realize once again that I love what I do. I want to spread this amazing language as much as I can, and the best way I know how to do that is to teach it.

This continues to be one of my favorite speeches of all time. Trust me, it's worth it to watch and listen.

ASL, Meet Teaching

I never thought that I would become a teacher. I always thought that I wanted to leave school so badly, so why would I make a career out of it? I didn’t know what I wanted to be, I just knew that teaching wasn’t one of my options.

Then one teacher changed everything.

That teacher was Rachel Cerra, my high school ASL teacher. I had her for both years of ASL I took in high school, my junior and senior years. It was my favorite class of all time, and Rachel was my favorite teacher. To this day, that hasn’t changed.

First, I fell in love with American Sign Language from the very first day I started learning it. Though it had always intrigued me before this, I never knew how fascinated I would become with the language, so engrossed in Deaf Culture, and so I quickly fell head over heels. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with it, but I knew I had to make ASL a part of my career.

Second, Rachel made me realize that I actually did want to teach ASL. I didn’t want to interpret, and I didn’t want to be a Deaf Ed teacher. Not necessarily by process of elimination, but by realizing that because I thought everyone should learn this beautiful, visual, natural language of the Deaf, the best way I knew how to spread it and bridge the gaps between the Deaf and hearing worlds was to teach it to others.

The passion that Rachel had not only for ASL, but for teaching, impacted me to a high degree. She lit a fire in me I didn’t know I had for a career I didn’t know I wanted. If I had had a different teacher, I know I would still love ASL, but I don’t know if I would have wanted to become a teacher as well. Every single day in class I couldn’t wait to learn more, and it was never boring. My favorite days were the ones we learned something new, and those days in ASL 2 that we got to learn a new ASL idiom or phrase.

I had the pleasure and honor of working with Rachel during my student teaching, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. To have been her student, and then work with her as a colleague was such a blessing. I learned so much about the art of teaching, from curriculum to lesson planning to creative activities to time saving tricks. Though, it was difficult getting used to calling her Rachel instead of Ms. Cerra. She even yelled at me via e-mail for it numerous times after I graduated, as we kept in touch. “We’re colleagues now!” She told me. She was right.

She must have known all along…

Look what she wrote in my yearbook!

Have you had a teacher who changed your life?

Complications

It's that time of the week! Mama Kat's Writing Prompts. Hop on over to see the full list of prompts and participate!

This week, I chose prompt number 4:

Write about something that complicates your life.

Warning: This may be more of a rant than an intelligent stream of thoughts or writing.

Something that currently complicates my life and probably will for a long time is related to my career.

I've worked extremely hard to get where I am. To get through school, obtain my degrees, write my thesis, student teach, get through graduate school from Columbia with my Master's, and finally pass my last test needed for certification, the American Sign Language CST (Content Specialty Test), which took me three times to pass. Don't even get me started on that.

To teach in public schools in New York, teachers must have certification. Regardless if the principal, superintendent, and curriculum and instruction personnel want a teacher on staff, he or she cannot be hired without Board of Education approval, which without certification, cannot happen.

Before I passed the CST, I thought that was the last thing I needed for certification. I thought that once I passed, I would be certified and finally find a job -- if one was available here; a whole other issue -- and be a real teacher, in a real classroom, with real students of my own. And theoretically, that's how it works, assuming all other documentation is complete.

Those documents include a child abuse workshop, a violence workshop, completion of a teaching program from an accredited institution, an institutional recommendation, and all undergraduate transcripts. All of that of mine is finished. Except for one thing. My undergraduate transcript from my Bachelor's degree at C.W. Post.

Why, you ask? Well, here's where it gets interesting.

Before C.W. Post, I was a student at Suffolk County Community College. Luckily, my mom paid for these two years of attendance, I received my Associate's degree in ASL and Deaf Studies, and I was on my way to Post. To pay for my tuition at Post, I needed to take out student loans, which my mom co-signed. However, I guess since tuition was so high, we were maxed out on our loans, and I could not get a loan from anywhere for my last semester, and clearly I could not pay thousands of dollars myself.

The funny thing is, I was allowed to attend classes, even without payment. I attended classes, completed my work, completed all courses and all necessary requirements to graduate. But I never received my degree, because I never paid for the tuition, because I had no money, because I couldn't get a real job outside of retail yet. It eventually went to collections -- shocker -- and I paid a good chunk of change upfront, with a monthly payment of $161 immediately after. I've been paying this religiously every month, on time, without fail, for a couple years now, but I still have quite a bit left that I owe.

Due to this balance, which I have even less capabilities to pay for now than I did then, Post absolutely refuses to let me have my transcript, let alone my degree which I still have not received either. Okay, I understand that I still have a balance I owe. But this is literally the last and only thing left I need for certification as a teacher. If I could get certified, I could get a job in my field, make more money, and pay them faster. Make sense? Apparently not to them.

When I went to the school recently, in person, about a 45 minute drive, by the way, I explained to the girl at registrar what I needed. She told me that she could only print the transcript if she got permission from bursar because of the balance. She also told me that if she got permission, she could send it directly to the state or Columbia for me, since it was for certification and I needed to get a job to pay them back.

This might be a good time to mention that I also needed this transcript to get accepted into Columbia. How did I get it then? I called and begged the poor guy who answered the phone at registrar that day to do something, and he felt badly and e-mailed it to me. WHY CAN'T THEY DO SOMETHING NOW?

I then walked over to bursar, literally the opposite side of the small room, and when called up to the window, explained the situation to the woman there. She immediately told me that she could not print transcripts when I have a block on my account due to the balance. I explained what the first girl at registrar told me, that if she got permission she could send it directly to Columbia or the state, and the bursar woman even went to check with someone else, possibly a supervisor or higher-up person. After a few minutes, she came back, apologized and said there was nothing she could do, and there was no way she could print it for me with the block. I almost started crying right there in front of the window. I know it's not her fault, but why can't they just hit PRINT?

I understand I have a block on my account. I understand I owe a balance. But what I don't understand, is then why was I able to attend classes? Why was I able to complete my coursework for all credits necessary to graduate? Why, after knowing this is the only thing left I need to get certified, and that I have been making the necessary payments, at least the minimum amount required every single month, on time, with no latenesses, in succession without fault, can't they just hit PRINT for me? Why can't they just do it once in good faith, knowing that I am paying them back?

I do not have the thousands that are still left to pay. I barely make my payments as it is now, and I can't even afford my phone bill. Somehow, I find a way, because I know I must. But if I don't find a better, higher-paying job soon, I won't have anything left to give them. If I could get a job in my field, that would help. I'd have a better income, and I could pay them more, and faster. But, I can't get a job without being officially certified, and I can't get certified without this stupid transcript, and I can't get the transcript without paying the balance with money that I do not have.

To add to this slightly minor inconvenience, there are plenty of ASL jobs for teachers in states other than New York. People are moving out of here left and right, for teaching other subjects as well, because the availability of job openings here are scarce to say the least. I would try for one of those jobs and move, but wait, I don't have the money to go anywhere, because I don't make enough to save anything to be able to move any time soon. And so the vicious cycle starts again. UGH.

What's complicating your life? I hope it's less annoying than mine.

Living Proof

As promised, here is the second post relating to my leave replacement teaching job, after the year was over. I wrote this one last month, as the end of Regents week was coming to a close. Again, I've tweaked it just a tad so it makes more sense for now, and added a few pictures. You can read the original, unedited version here. Sorry again for the length, but as always, it's worth it! ;-)

(Note: ALL pictures are mine.)

Teaching is fantastic. It’s the best job in the world, even though most of us don’t get paid what we truly deserve. Though there are most definitely trying and difficult times in the classroom to deal with and manage, one student can make all the difference, and one “thank you” makes it all worth it. It continues to remind me that I was meant for this career.

I recently finished reading a book given to me as a graduation gift from my friend, another fresh graduate into the teaching field; Chicken Soup for the Teacher’s Soul. If any of you are teachers, or have already read this book anyway, you know how inspiring and touching these stories truly are (there is even one story involving a Deaf student and her use of sign language!). I swear I had tears in my eyes through half the book, if not more.

To fellow teachers, students who have had an amazing teacher in their lives who helped or inspired, or even anyone who believes common misconceptions about a teacher’s life, please, pick up this book and read it cover to cover. I didn’t want to put it down. Each and every story reinforces my belief that I was molded to fit and belong in this profession perfectly. As incredibly cliché as it sounds, I hope that I may be able to inspire even one student in the same way.

Now, on to sharing the happenings in my life and the job. Classes for the students officially finished the week of June 15 (that Tuesday was their last full day), and every day after had been Regents testing until Thursday, the 23rd. For those of you who don’t have Regents in your state/country, they are state exams that students must pass in core subjects to receive full credit for the course. 

The job was phenomenal. The first day I walked in, which was a Friday, and took over was basically and assessment day, to see how much of the curriculum they were actually taught and how much catching up I would need to do. When they knew that their original teacher was no longer returning -- as I wrote in the last post -- they literally cheered for joy. I asked them tons of questions about what they were taught, how much they knew, their testing procedures, and how much signing they actually did in class.

I also told them that I was here for them, and even though it was already almost the end of the school year, that it was a fresh start and we would put the past behind us and move forward from here. The kids were all really receptive to it, and were excited to once again begin learning about Deaf culture and American Sign Language, the natural language of the Deaf community.

It was a tough job, because they were so very far behind since the beginning of the year, but given the unique situation we were in, we all adjusted fairly quickly and easily, and everyone on the staff were very helpful and supportive. I even got to see a few of my old teachers as new colleagues! Especially the other ASL teacher (who taught at the other high school, where I graduated from), who had been my first ASL teacher at this school, my personal inspiration and reason for becoming so involved with ASL, the Deaf community, and teaching, and work with her as more than just her student teacher. It was wonderful.

Monday morning was a review session, to get them warmed up and refresh their memories of ASL (and honestly, to fix the mistakes the previous teacher had made in her teaching of the language, which proved to be continuous until the last day). Since there was so little time left, I continued with the unit of which they were already in the middle, taught them the correct material, and started the “review” for their finals (which was really a re-teaching of material from the beginning of the year). We had to work hard, and we had to work fast, but it was a great experience, and I had a blast doing it and working with them.

On the last two days of classes, with finals finished, I gave out blank paper and markers to the students and asked them to write their names on the top of the sheets. I then instructed them to pass their papers around, so each person can write them a message of something nice about them, or something they liked about each person, etc., so each student would have those messages and memories for however long they chose to keep them. I also signed as many papers as I could, and before they left, gave a short speech thanking them for their hard work and patience, for working with me and cooperating though it was the end of the year, apologizing for their bad experience with ASL and explaining that I now hoped they had a better vision and perception of the language and the culture, that ASL can truly be a ton of fun, and that Deaf people are some of the best people in the world with whom to make friends. They all responded really well, and actually clapped afterward and agreed that they now loved ASL! What a great feeling. I had also written my name on a paper and passed it around to students, for anyone who wanted to sign it (one paper for each class I taught -- one class of Level 1 students, and one class of Level 2 students). I told them if they chose to write anything, they could also choose to write their name or be anonymous, whichever they preferred.

After collecting their responses the last day, the amount of messages were overwhelming. I received four full pages worth of “thank you!”s, “thank you for saving us/our class!”, “you’re a great teacher!”, “I wish we had you from the start!”, “I actually learned real sign language,” “you’re a great person,” and one girl wrote “I was actually able to sign to the Deaf man who moved in across the street from me. Thank you!” I couldn’t believe it.

Here are pictures of the messages (in random order of different levels):

I had no idea if what I was doing made any difference to them at all, and yet, every single response proved that I impacted them tremendously more than I ever thought I did or could. It was an unbelievably touching experience, and though it was only a short time I taught them, I will never forget them or my time with them, my first real class of students, as long as I live.

Again, they reinforced my belief that I am made for this profession, despite any difficulties I may face now or in the future. It is the most rewarding experience, and I absolutely love this job!

As for the interview I went on shortly after I started, I never received a call back, which is a little disappointing, but it’s okay. It was a long shot anyway, and the school is about a 45 minute or more drive away from my home every day.

However, I did have another interview for a part-time position as an ASL teacher at another school closer to me. And even if that doesn’t work out, I was invited back to be a substitute teacher next year at the same school in which I just finished teaching. As long as it sticks, I may be able to see some of my students who will now be seniors, and maybe even sub their classes.

Though I’d rather be teaching my own classroom, it’s a trade-off to be able to stay in the district and schools that I love, and see my first real students again before they move on to college. To celebrate our graduations, our anniversary (yay!), and our new jobs, my boyfriend and I went on a weekend vacation to Myrtle Beach and were finally able to relax, unwind, and have a great time after all the hard work we had put into graduating and our jobs. We went jet skiing, went on a dolphin watch tour where we saw about twenty dolphins out that day (I LOVE dolphins, so for me it was the best day!), walked through Ripley’s aquarium, saw a laser light show to the beat of Led Zeppelin, and took a helicopter tour on our last day. We got some great pictures out of it as well, and overall had an amazing time. We didn’t want to go home!

Here are a few pictures from our trip:

The dolphin watch day. AMAZING. 

 An awesome building design. This is a seafood restaurant made to look like a building was ripped out of the ground and thrown on top of the restaurant upside down. How cool is that??

At the aquarium. In one of the underground parts, you can look up and see a bit of the stingray tank.  Yes, I am taking this picture looking UP at the ceiling! 

Cool-looking Orange Bell Jellyfish (I think). 

A view from the helicopter ride, 1,000 feet up, going 120 mph. It did not feel like that fast AT ALL! 

Our view of the ocean from our hotel balcony.

Balcony view again.

So again, I apologize for the length of my posts (this seems to happen a lot, huh?). But I would also like to restate that I am living proof that dreams truly do come true.

I worked my ass off, and I was rewarded for it in the best way that I could imagine possible; from simple “thank you”s from my students. In only one month’s time, they felt I had “saved” them, and helped them learn to love not only the language and culture, but also love learning again.

My message is the same: Never give up. You never know for whom you are making a difference, and even though retail is and always will be a true Hell on Earth, accomplishing your goals and making your dreams come true is the Heaven that, in the end, makes it all worth it.

Thanks for reading. Keep your head up.

Much love.

Click here for the chance to win a slot in The Bloggess sidebar for a month sponsored by freefringes.com

Keep On Keepin' On

After struggling for a long time on a topic for a new post, I decided to continue with the positivity atmosphere and re-share a story I wrote for an online blog (run by my friend Freeman Hall, who wrote Retail Hell: Confessions of a Tortured Sales Associate, which everyone needs to read!).  This post was written on Friday, May 6, after my first day starting a leave replacement job as an ASL Teacher at the high school where I graduated AND completed my first semester of student teaching (it was actually at the other high school in the same district). Because it was written over two months ago, I've tweaked it a bit to make it more relevant and understandable. If you'd like, you can see the full, unedited version at the link provided above.  After this post, I will add a second one I wrote when the job was finished -- complete with notes from my students, which is also at the same link.

Firstly I must apologize for the extremely lengthy post... but it's worth it, I promise!

First, on Friday, May 6, I started my brand new, wonderful teaching job. YES, that's right, I got a REAL job in the REAL world! With REAL PAY! And while at that point I was done with my classes, I hadn't even officially graduated, nor was I certified yet (I'm still not -- so close!) But, YAY! The reason I started so late into the school year is because the other teacher, who I replaced, well, let's be blunt, was fired. I can't disclose any details, but it was for a few different reasons. I walked in that day as the new teacher, and the students literally cheered for joy. That's not good – well, for her anyway... it was great for me!

Here's how it happened on my end...

Tuesday, May 3 (the day after my birthday, yay!), I received a call from the foreign language department chairperson at the school where I did my first semester of student teaching. She informed me that they needed a new teacher to replace the second ASL teacher, immediately. Long story short... I sent her my resume, she forwarded it to the principals of the two high schools and the district office, and about an hour later I had an interview for the next morning (Wednesday) at the district office with the Assistant Superintendent of Personnel and the principal of the high school at which I would be teaching. The interview went well, I was hired immediately, I filled out a ton of paperwork, got fingerprinted, ran around collecting the last documents I needed, and was told since I'm not certified (yet!), the Board of Education needed to give the final approval that night at the Board meeting, and I would be given a call the next morning to confirm. The next morning (Thursday) came, the principal called me, and told me I started the next morning (Friday), and BOOM, I was in! Happy Birthday to me!

Now, in this district, there are two high schools. Teachers of the same subject therefore try to generally be on the same page and pace when it comes to the curriculum, even when at different schools, as the students of the same levels have to take the same final exam (and/or the same Regents). This “teacher” had not kept up with the curriculum and the other ASL teacher at the other school necessary for students to take the final at the end of the year. The students were now entire units behind where they should have been. Additionally, they seemed to know bits and pieces of each unit, rather than everything they should have actually known by that point in the year. And the signs that they did know, half of them were wrong (and not because of region or dialect). So really, I had to play catch-up, review everything, AND teach them the rest of the curriculum for the end of the year final, or the final would have to be changed for these classes.

Don't get me wrong, now, I'm completely grateful for this opportunity to have had my own classroom and classes, and I was very excited to work with these kids. I just knew it would be challenging due to the unique situation we were in.

This post could go on forever about the former teacher, her teaching methods, and her “unorthodox” (and that's putting it nicely) behaviors. However, this story is not about her. It's about me, and all of you. Stay with me...

Secondly, the next reason why that day (Friday May 6) was as wonderful as it was... starting that teaching job means I finally had the ability to get the HELL out of retail. That's right, you read that correctly. I put in my two weeks notice THAT DAY. And damn, it was a GREAT feeling. This did mean, however, that as of then I had NO income over the summer, but at that moment in time I really did NOT care even one tiny ounce. Because after six long, exhausting, infuriatingly painful years in retail HELL, this slave is finally free. Although I still had two weeks left to finish, it no longer mattered, because I knew there was finally an end to this misery. And if you knew me at all, you knew I was the most miserable person on the planet every second I spent in that section of Hell on Earth. There IS a very bright light at the end of the dark and gloomy tunnel, and it was finally so close it made all my Spidey senses tingle.

Now, how is this about the rest of you? Well, my dears, because this story relates to you all who are working endlessly and diligently to finish school and get out in the real world where you are so destined, motivated, and determined to be. I worked my ass off, especially these past two years in graduate school, wrote countless papers, researched tons of articles, conducted my own study while student teaching, and wrote a seemingly endless Master's Thesis, all in the name of graduation and certification as a teacher, while continuing to work in the hell that is retail, and keeping my romantic and familial relationships in tact. I sacrificed countless nights of socializing, drinking, movies, parties, Deaf events, cousins' communions and school concerts, family birthday parties, sporting events (pick a sport – I missed them all), concerts, reading (I'm one of the few who enjoy it), summers (I took summer classes in BOTH sessions), date nights with my wonderful, amazingly supportive and loving boyfriend, and simply taking a day or night to myself to just relax. You name it, I sacrificed and missed it, due to either work, homework, papers, student teaching, lesson planning, or my thesis. And now, finally, after six incessant years, the end has come. I persevered, and I made it through, and you can too.

I've felt the stress, I've felt the anger, the anxiety, sadness, nervousness, and pain. I've felt the urge to procrastinate, to deal with things later, the stress of time management, money management, the apathy, the hunger, the fear, and the absolute exhaustion. I've felt it all. And I made it through.

Don't feel discouraged. Don't feel hopeless. The end of the stress is near. I know it's hard, believe me, I know how difficult it really is, but it's there, and it's worth it. I also had an interview the week after I started the leave replacement for a teaching position in the fall at another high school. I never got a call back, but, oh well, the opportunity was there. If I can make it through, and find jobs, especially in this economy where teachers are being cut left and right, you can too.

Hang in there, and keep your head up.

Best of luck to you all. You got this!