What's with the Pressure?

Why do mothers push their daughters to do things they are not ready for?

My mother wants grandkids. Like, right now. "I don't want to be old and decrepit when you have kids," she says. "I want to be able to still have fun with them."

Okay, that's valid. However, Mom, it's not your body or your life. It's mine. And I'm just not ready for any of that. My choice to have kids when I want to will not depend on your age or vitality.

I don't even know if I want children yet. Okay, pick your jaws off the floor and give your hearts a minute to start again. I know, I know. A young female of child-bearing age may not even want to have them? What is this blasphemy? Women are the emotional ones who yearn to create life, to pass on their DNA and flesh and blood and form their own little mini selves.

But me? I feel I have no maternal instincts. Everything about motherhood terrifies me. Another human being's life is literally in my hands. One wrong move and I could easily accidentally harm my own child. I could say or do the wrong thing and screw him or her up for life. And then there's the whole pregnancy fiasco. Because all of that magic sounds like a glowing basket of jellybeans on Easter.

My mother had her first child, my older brother, at age 24. This apparently means that I should have had my first already, since I just turned 25. Does she not realize that times have changed, and just because she had kids young that doesn't meant that I should, have to, or am going to also?

I can't even afford to take care of myself right now. I'm paying off my last semester of my undergrad -- because I couldn't get a loan on my own, and my mom was apparently maxed out from her cosigning both my brother's and my loans -- I can't even pay my own car insurance, and I am drowning in student loan debt which I will be paying off for the rest of my life. How could I possibly even begin to think about starting a family if I can't even keep myself afloat?

Besides, there is no ring on this finger. Danny is even younger than me. He's the one who wants kids in our future, and he's less ready for that kind of commitment than I am. We have plenty of time, Mom, okay? Okay?!

I Am So Lucky

I recently just returned from a trip with my boyfriend to Myrtle Beach. If you may recall, we also went last year and had a great time. We decided to go again this year when my aunt Lisa offered out some of her vacation time (through some kind of timeshare points? I don't really know how it works). We got a great discount and stayed a very nice resort. Though the rooms were small, it was filled wall to wall with amenities.

It's picture time!

Our resort, the Seaglass Tower

Our view from the room

View to the little boardwalk below leading to the beach

We decided to save money by cooking breakfast and lunch, and only eating out at dinner. Good thing we did, because we both ran out of money by the end of the trip!

Our kitchenette 

Our very cool bathroom with giant tub and jacuzzi jets!

Another view picture

A very cool painting above the bed

The bed lamps had BOOKLIGHTS! Do you have any idea how excited I was about this??

Pirates Voyage, a VERY cool dinner show. Highly recommended if you ever go to Myrtle Beach!

A jellyfish in the water during the dolphin watch. There were millions of these around.

Dolphins! 

 We had a great view of the dolphins on the tour. We used the same tour as last year, and it was a good choice. A smaller boat, so everyone can see, with very nice people running the tour. We didn't need to go very far out to find them. Two pods eventually came together and started playing with each other. They came very close to the boat and we got amazing views! We even saw them one morning in the ocean from our hotel window!

A turtle was crossing the road in a parking lot. Though he hid away in his shell when I came over, I made sure no cars came to squish him while he made his journey.

TIGER!

Well, hello there.

Playing!

Awww.

Time to cool off.

A very cool waterfall that changed colors.

These weird little beetle things were EVERYWHERE.

 Since there was a mini golf course on practically every corner, we had to try one. We chose Mount Atlanticus since it had very cool views, and Danny liked the architecture of the place. After the 18th hole, we thought we were finished, but signs posted told us to follow the stairs down to the 19th hole at the main lobby. This is what we found:

 A hole in one on the 19th. On this shot:

 We failed miserably. BUT the entire wall was filled with photos of people who made it, of all ages!

View from Pier 14 restaurant, right behind our resort.

Out on the pier.

The ferris wheel on the left is called the Skywheel, the largest ferris wheel in America.

Out on the pier.

 And... my absolute favorite part of this trip...

 We got to hold and pet a baby white tiger!

 And feed him! Coolest thing ever.

And hold a baby monkey! Danny liked this guy, and thought it was adorable that he was wearing a diaper. Which it was!

Despite the drive there and back, overall, it was a fantastic trip. We ate great food, saw a fantastic pirates dinner show, hung out on the beach, took a walk on the pier and boardwalk, went on a dolphin watch tour, drank amazing lemonade and other drinks, saw dolphins in the ocean from our hotel window, and pet, hold, feed, and take a picture with a baby white tiger and a monkey. Unbelievably amazing.

I feel so lucky to have Danny in my life. Not only to do fun things like this with him, but because it wouldn't be the same with someone else. I feel like in a way going on little vacations like this brings us even closer, more connected. I am in love now more than ever, and I only see it continuing to grow and blossom into something not only better than what we already have, but better than I can imagine. Things like this only reaffirm my love and adoration toward him, and I can't wait to see what the future holds. I am so thankful to have someone so incredible to call mine.

Rainbow After the Rain

Every year on my birthday, for as long as I can remember, it has rained. Without fail. I never had to check the weather report, because I knew exactly what Mother Nature had in mind every May 2nd. It was like I was psychic for a day each year.

Despite my annual soothsayer abilities, my mother refused to believe me. Yet, like yearly clockwork, there the rain would appear. She apparently has the memory of a goldfish, and now that she's hit age 50, that's her excuse for finally admitting it. My brother couldn't care less. My friends gave me a sympathetic, "Really?" with raised eyebrows.

Sure, rain. Big deal, right? Probably not for some, or even most. It's spring. Rain comes and goes. But, the weather should be becoming pretty nice around now here in New York. Rain ruins your plans a little if you open a box of brand new rollerblades and can't try them out because water is falling from the sky. Or, if your best friend who lives across the street comes over and wants to play with you outside after school. Or, if you want to take a bike ride to your friend's house three blocks away, or walk up the street to the nearby school and play on the swings. Or, if you just want a nice, warm, sunny day for once.

So, every year, I planned for rain. Jackets, hats, umbrellas, indoor parties. I'd have a good time with my family and friends inside the skating rink or at home with cake, longing for, just once, a sunny day.

Well, my friends, this story finally has a happy ending. Today is May 2, 2012, and it isn't raining. But, not for the first time. This trend actually began two years ago in 2010. Right after I met Danny. Yep, ever since then, even before we started dating, my birthday has had clear, sunny skies. Not a drop of precipitation.

Coincidence? Yeah, probably. But, I'm not complaining. And while today there is constant cloud cover and a 30% chance of rain this afternoon, if the clouds decide they are too bloated with water weight, maybe this time, it won't be so horrendous.

The Perfect-ness of Imperfection

Two days ago, on Saturday, my lovely Daniel had a surprise up his sleeve and took me out for the night.


However, the poor boy, bless his heart, cannot hide anything. Ever. He either slips somehow, or when asked a question remotely related, he will smile and simply cannot lie or hide it.


For example, we were at a local elementary school, practicing for softball on Saturday, and when we were finishing up I casually asked him, "So what are we doing tonight?" After a couple of roundabout odd answers, he blurted out that he was planning on surprising me and taking me out, but hadn't thought of what to do yet, and was going to ask me what I wanted. I of course promptly explained to the silly man that if he is going to surprise his amazing and wonderful girlfriend, he is not supposed to ask her opinion on what to do or where to go; he is simply supposed to plan it himself and just do it. I then informed him that I will not be involved in the deicision-making. It was quite the learning experience.


After showering, I arrived at his house only to be whisked away into his silver Nissan Altima and driven to an undisclosed restaurant. I knew we were eating because we were both starving. He actually did trick me when he told me that he missed a turn that led to one of my favorite restaurants, Carrabba's Italian Grill. Once we approached the area of the real dining location, I knew what it was, and I became quite excited. J&R's Steakhouse! Yes! I'd never been, and now, finally, I would taste their juicy, marinated steaks of deliciousness. And that I did. And I added a tasty Kahlua Mudslide to my menu of deliciousness. And that it was.


Upon leaving the restaurant and driving in the direction toward home, Danny made a random right turn off the highway. When I asked where we were going, he only grinned at me and wouldn't say. After pulling into the movie theater parking lot, I asked if we were seeing a movie, and he quickly replied, "Yep!" I should have known something was up, but he actually tricked me again, because as we walked up to the theater, he pulled me to the left toward the strip of stores in the next parking lot. I voiced that I didn't even know what was on that side as I never go there, and he was very good with not slipping and ruining his surprise. Unfortunately, however, he was saddened and his surprise was thwarted as he realized that this place of business no longer existed at this location. As I am quite addicted to ice cream, he confessed his plans to take me to ColdStone because he knew I loved it. I told him not to worry, as it is the thought that counts, and a very nice thought it was.


Though his second plan failed, and he was upset because Google Maps lied to him and told him it still existed, it was still a nice night. We had a good dinner, great conversation, amazing Mudslides, and following the small ice cream mishap, we went to Borders' closing sale to see if there was anything left on their last day of business (so sad).


While some people must have every date planned perfectly and itinerized (yes, I just made that up) to the last minute, I don't need that.  I am grateful to have someone with whom I can still have fun, even with bumps in the road, or, in this case, missing ice cream shops. I'd rather have a haphazardly effective but enjoyable date rather than a perfectly planned but boring rendezvous. And had Danny organized and orchestrated a flawless, romantic night out on the town that was smooth and went off without a hitch, so be it. I'd take either one, because of the person I'm spending it with, not because of the activities. I'm happy just to be with him, enjoying his company and our time together. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Freeky Friday: Summer Lovin'

It's Freeky Friday yet again! Sadly, this is the last Freeky Friday of 2011. But, not to fear, it shall return next summer. The last question of this summer is...

What was the best thing that happened to you this summer?

I have two answers to this question. 


The first was my vacation with Danny to Myrtle Beach at the beginning of June. I wrote about this in a previous post titled Living Proof, so I won't go into great detail here. Click the link if you would like to read the full story. It was our first vacation together alone as a couple, our first road trip together, my first vacation since I went to Disney World with my family when I was 16, and we were also celebrating a few different things. We just had our one year anniversary, we both graduated from college, a Master's degree in teaching for me, and a Bachelor's degree in architecture for Danny. We also had both recently landed new jobs (see Keep On Keepin' On and Living Proof). We had a great time with all of our little events packed into the weekend, and it was an awesome start to the summer. 


The second is something that I'm very excited about. I recently started my own, new business as a Team Beachbody Coach. I just started it, but I'm already having a blast with it and I'm anxious to continue and really get it off the ground. Basically, I help people become physically and/or financially fit. I work with others to help them achieve their fitness goals, not only for the present, but forever. We work together to create a change in their lives, for the present, and the future. We create a lifestyle change, to transform their bodies and their lives into healthier and happier living. I'm loving every minute of it.


Why do I do this? Because I believe in the Beachbody company. I believe in them because I know their products work. I've used them, and they've worked for me, and so many other people all across the country. Thousands of transformation stories have been posted on the Beachbody website, to YouTube,  and in the Beachbody infomercials for P90X, Insanity, Turbo Fire, Hip Hop Abs, and more. I'm currently finishing up Insanity, and if it can work for me, it can work for anyone. I plan on doing P90X next. I also have been using an amazing product by Beachbody called Shakeology. It is called "The Healthiest Meal of the Day" for a reason; because it is. I drink it every day for breakfast to start my day off as healthy as possible. It is also my favorite meal of the day because it tastes AMAZING. I love this job, and I love helping others get fit and achieve their goals.

What's the best thing that happened to you this summer?

You can participate in three ways! Head over to Concrete Jane to see how, and how you will be entered to win some yummy homemade treats and have a donation made in your name to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! This is your last chance of the year to participate! The winner will be announced next week!

Freeky Friday: Shiny Happy People

It's Freeky Friday once again! This week, Freekware wants to know:

When are you most happy?

Oh, so many different answers.

I shall make this easy on myself, and copy what I wrote on Freekware's Facebook page (click the badge above!) to this question. But, I will add pictures! Yay, visuals!

I am most happy:

When I'm with my amazing boyfriend

my crazy ass family (there are way more of us, but I have no good pictures),

my friends, 

when my best friend comes home from school to visit (even though I look demonic in this picture. Miss you Roger!)

when I'm having a conversation in ASL (and I apparently have no picture of an actual conversation with it),

when I'm reading one of my thousands of books (and this MIGHT be what my bookshelf may actually look like some day, if I ever have enough room to put them somewhere other than in and on top of one tiny bookshelf, in the trunk at the foot of my bed, behind all of my DVDs, and stacked on the floor next to the original tiny bookshelf) [Source],

when I am teaching, 

when I'm belting out songs to myself even though I can't sing, 

when I'm watching whatever I want on Netflix, 

when I'm watching my box set DVDs of Gilmore Girls [Source],

when I try something I haven't done before and accomplish it (like cooking something!)

when I am at concerts of my favorite bands (like Disturbed!)

(and Blink 182!)

or when I'm MEETING THEM! (Chester and Phoenix from Linkin Park!),

when I am writing (hence this blog, and my contributions to Retail Hell Underground), 

when I am hanging out or playing with my dogs, (or when I'm playing with any puppy or dog) 

when I am on vacation, 

when I am helping others to achieve their fitness goals (My Beachbody Coaching Page), 

when I am drinking Shakeology (My Shakeology Page), 

when I am cuddled up having a movie night with the boy, 

when I am walking around Manhattan [Source]

when I pamper myself for once, 

and before this post becomes any longer, I'll stop it there, though I'm sure I could go on forever! =)

So, how about you?

When are you most happy?

You can participate in three ways! Head over to Concrete Jane to see how, be entered to win this month's prize of yummy Reverse Chocolate Chip Cookies, and have a donation made in your name to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! Get on this!