Paralyzed in Terror

It's that time again... Mama Kat's Weekly Writing Prompts. Writers pick one of the five prompts, with sometimes an option for a vlog instead, write their stories, and link up together on Thursdays. This week I chose number 5:

Tell us about one of the scariest moments of your life.


I never had any kind of near-death experience or anything like that. My scary moment may even seem a little silly to some of you, but if you've ever experienced it, you'll know why it's frightening.

It's called Sleep Paralysis, and it's happened to me three times.

Basically, what happens is that while you are sleeping, you have a feeling of being awake, but you can't move. You feel that your mind is alert, and you can think, but your body has no sensation, and physically you cannot speak or move at all, not even your eyelids.

It's terrifying.

The first time it happened, I had no idea what was going on, and I had an overwhelming feeling of complete terror. I remember it vividly. I was lying in my bed, on my back, desperately trying to move my limbs or open my eyes. Staring into the darkness of the inside of my eyelids, I felt awake, alert, and aware, but was absolutely clueless as to why I could not move. Was something wrong with me? Did I have some unknown hidden condition that decided to surface? All I knew was that no matter how hard I tried, I could not make any muscle move, even a flinch.

After I regained control over my body, I described to my best friend, Roger, what happened and how frightening it was. To my surprise, he knew exactly what it was, and explained Sleep Paralysis to me. After that first circumstance, it occurred twice more thus far. The first two times happened as I was waking up in the middle of the night, and the last time occurred as I was falling asleep. The two different types are described in the link above.

Apparently, it's pretty common, as up to four out of ten people may have sleep paralysis. Many factors may be involved, but I think the ones that pertained to me were lack of sleep, and a changing sleep schedule. I used to suffer from insomnia, and would go days without sleeping, or sleeping only minutes at a time, and that's when it occurred the first time. The last time, I was teaching 45 minutes away from where I live, plus house sitting for my uncle, waking up at 5:00 in the morning on weekdays and trying to "catch up" on weekends (you really can't).

It's difficult to illustrate the fear that overcomes you during this situation. The only way to truly know is to experience it, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? 

Freeky Friday: Music to My Ears

As per usual, head over to Concrete Jane to see how you can participate every Friday during the summer and win some yummy treats!

This week, on Freeky Friday:

What's your favorite summer tradition of all time? It could be something from your past or something you still do to this day!

Unfortunately, I don't have a cool, silent, ASL summer tradition like Amanda at Concrete Jane up there. Mine is pretty common, I think.

Summer usually means much more free time. My favorite summer tradition is attending tons of concerts. Uproar Festival, Mayhem Festival, Warped Tour (though, in my opinion, Warped isn't the same anymore)...

I've seen Linkin Park three times:

I've also met them, and got to interview them:

Blink 182:

Travis is suspended in the air on a rotating drum set

Many people don't seem to know about them, but they are becoming more and more popular and they are one of my favorites, Dive:

And twice I've seen Disturbed:

Plus, Saving Abel, Sevendust, Hail the Villain, Metallica, Godsmack, The Vincent Black Shadow, Bullet for My Valentine, Avenged Sevenfold, A Day to Remember, and many more. I have a blast every single time.

But besides watching a great show, what really makes it fun is spending the day with awesome people:

The guy who is in each of these pictures is Rich, a good friend who has been my concert buddy for years. I've gone to shows with other people, including Danny, but my pictures usually consist of the people on stage.

What's your favorite summer tradition?

What Happens in Vegas...

Stays in Vegas? I'm telling everyone!

Last weekend, I went to Las Vegas for Beachbody's Coach Summit 2012. That's right, we get to go to Vegas once a year to celebrate. Celebrate successes of our customers, coaches, ourselves, and how far the company has come in achieving its mission to end the trend of obesity. Plus, we get exclusive looks into upcoming products, special training workshops, and meet and greets with the trainers, like Tony Horton of P90X, Shaun T of Insanity, Chalene Johnson of Turbo Fire, and Leandro Carvalho of Brazil Butt Lift. And we can't forget about the huge parties!

We stayed at The Signature at the MGM Grand.

Lobby

We also had a great view of the Vegas skyline with the mountains in the background.

Summit was kicked off with a Birthday Bash on Thursday night. Team Beachbody is now 5 years old (Beachbody itself is much older, but the concept of customers becoming coaches and getting paid to help others is where Team Beachbody comes in). The Birthday Bash was poolside with everyone looking fantastic. I wish I took a picture that night, but of course my absent-minded self didn't think of it. At the end of the night, Beachbody surprised us with an awesome fireworks show!

Friday was filled with live trainer workouts (Hello, Shaun T and Chalene!), training workshops, and trainer signings and pictures.

Workshop with Tommy Mygrant and Barbie Decker

Me and Shaun T! The Man of Hip Hop Abs, Rockin' Body, Insanity, Asylum, and soon to be Asylum Volume 2.

Me and Leandro Carvalho of Brazil Butt Lift

Friday night was the Diamond Reception, which I could not attend -- but will be at next year! -- and the Beachbody's Got Talent show, which was pretty awesome. 

Dancing, singing, guitar playing, rapping, a jump roping gym teacher, a ventriloquist, and even people from the audience showed off their skills:

A fellow coach on my team and friend, Audrey, belting it like nobody's business!

Saturday was the most eventful. First, at 6:30am at the Tropicana parking lot across from the MGM Grand, was the Super Workout. What exactly is that, you ask? It's, well, a SUPER Workout. A 90 minute block of working out with all the coaches who attended Summit, plus the trainers. Each trainer gets 10-15 minutes on the stage, in succession. Nearly 5,000 coaches gathered in the hot early morning sun to get their sweat on.

Super Workout to my left, waiting to start

Super Workout in front of me, facing the stage, waiting to start. Look how many people!

When it was over and we were walking back to the MGM Grand to shower and change, I saw this guy in front of me:

How freaking cool is that?! This guy doesn't let anything limit him, and neither should the rest of us. He still does P90X and did the Super Workout with all of us in his wheelchair. What the heck was your excuse again? ;-)

The day was again filled with training workshops, pictures and signings, and a closing general session. Then, at night, the real party started.

The celebration began on the main stage and included awarding the Beachbody Challenge winners with their giant checks of $100,000, -- Congratulations Kathy and Richard! -- crowning Mr. Wayne Wyatt as Top Coach of the Year with his Top Coach Belt, and even our CEO, Carl Daikeler, serenaded Wayne decked out in Elvis gear with a song written just for him.

Then, it was time for the After Party.

Me in front of the Beachbody Challenge van

Some of our team dancing the night away at the party

Almost all of Team Allegiance who were able to attend Summit.

I love this picture, even though Jason, our team leader and co-founder, is the only one looking away! It shows on all of our faces how connected we are and how much fun we had at this event. 

We share a common passion not only for fitness and health, but for helping others achieve their health and financial goals as well. We are in this together, on the mission to end the trend of obesity, one person at a time. At this event, not only did we learn about upcoming products and announcements and gain knowledge on how to be better coaches to our own coaches and customers, we met our second families, deepened friendships, and had an absolute blast while doing it. Beachbody goes all out for these events, and I am so grateful to be a part of this movement. I can't wait until next year!

Freeky Friday: Oy, with the Poodles Already!

Who is your pop culture alter-ego?

This question was so hard to answer!

My first response was Rory Gilmore. 

I'm slightly obsessed with Gilmore Girls. I do, in fact, have the entire series on DVD. I love the quick-witted clever writing, the personalities, even the wardrobes. Stars Hollow was always a town in which I wish I lived, where I could get to know the quirky people and the crazy traditions. Rory Gilmore was my first response, and my only, as she's the only character I can think of who I actually relate to.

Rory loves reading. 

Her room is filled with books. On shelves, inside drawers, under her bed. I love reading. My room is filled with books. On my tiny shelf, inside my trunk, under my TV and behind my DVDs, and in my closet. I'll read anything I can get my hands on.

Rory loves junk food. 

Rory and her mom, Lorelai, anxiously waiting for her Dean to arrive to begin his and Rory's "first date."

Cheese puffs, ice cream, chips, Twizzlers, marshmallows, s'mores, pizza. I also love junk food, ice cream being my weakness. Of course, I'm keeping myself healthy and I don't eat these things nearly as much as I used to. The only difference between us here is that Rory has the fastest metabolism I've ever seen and can stay stick-thin, while if I ever ate anywhere near close to what she eats, I'd blow up Veruca Salt style. 

Rory has an absent father, and is very close to her mother. Her father was never very involved with her life, so her mother raised her alone, working extremely hard with no outside help. My mother raised my brother and I alone, with virtually no help from anyone else, while my father might as well have been a ghost.

However, aside from those things, plus a love of music and movies, and a tendency to stick with the very small group of tight friends rather than a large crowd of acquaintances, that is where our similarities end. Nothing truly fundamental links us. Rory is super smart, an amazing writer, a Yale graduate, and by the end of the series, found a decent job not long after completion of school. She also had some pretty great boyfriends, which, up until now, I was lacking bigtime in that department. She has no athletic ability, and she has no natural-born love for animals or a desire to be a pet-owner, while I could not imagine my life without my dogs.

So is Rory Gilmore really my pop culture alter-ego? Who really fills that role? What do you think?

Don't forget to check out Concrete Jane to see how you can participate each week!

Freeky Friday: Positivity Playlist

Late again, but this time it's less than a week, and after this I'll be caught up! Jump over to Concrete Jane to see what this is all about, and how you can join in on the fun each week and be entered to win cool and yummy prizes!





This Last week's question is was:

What's on your positivity playlist this summer? Share your favorite feel-good songs!

This topic is really fun. There were a couple of these posts last summer as well. I love discovering new music (speaking of, I am in dire need of some new tunes right now... help!), especially songs I can rock out to without a care of who is watching. I don't have a real theme to my list, just that they are fun and I love them!

Lady Antebellum - Perfect Day

I love Lady Antebellum. This song reminds me to be happy with the little things in life; that sometimes you just need to stop, relax, and live in the moment you are in, free of worries about current or future problems, and just enjoy.

Awesome lyrics: What I'd give if I could find a way to stay / Lost in this moment now

LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

Okay, is this song not me, or what? Not because I'm crazy conceited and think I'm the hottest person on the planet or anything, but because it's fun, it's hilarious, I can dance to it, and I don't care who's watching when I do it.

Hilarious lyrics: We're headed to the bar baby don't be nervous / No shoes, no shirt and I still get service

Signmark - Smells Like Victory

I. Freeking. Love. Signmark. He's a Deaf rapper from Finland. I met him a few months ago in NYC, got his autograph and took a picture with him. I even have an exclusive interview recorded on my phone. ;-) Many of his songs are about overcoming adversity as a Deaf music artist, and this one proves just that. His entire album accompanies a DVD with a music video for each song. As you can see in this video, he signs all of his lyrics, while his hearing friend, Brendan, raps. Brendan does not know sign language, but is currently learning, and the two of them write music and lyrics together. Signmark (Marko Vuoriheimo) knows Finnish sign language, Finnish, American Sign Language, and English (possibly more, but these are the four that I know of). Signmark is proof that anyone can do anything they dream of doing. Get out there and do it.

Fantastical lyrics: So loosen up you seem a little uptight right / Maybe cause a deaf man came and stole your spotlight

How about you? What's on your positivity playlist?

Anyone can participate in Freeky Fridays. Bounce back over to Concrete Jane to make sure you are entered to win some delicious treats and have a donation made in your name to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!

Freeky Friday: Long Island Fun

Okay, I'm a little a lot late on this one. I was so busy packing and preparing for Vegas (more on that later) that I spaced out on this the past two weeks! But, it's here now, and will be followed by another shortly.

To see all the info on Freeky Friday head over to Concrete Jane and join in on the fun!

This question is regional:

What's the best thing about summer in your neck of the woods? Any fun local activities or traditions?

There isn't much to do on Long Island that hasn't been done a thousand times over. Movies, Hamptons, clubs, bars, bowling. That's about as fun as it gets here. But, there are a couple of things that never get old for me.

Source

What Long Island girl doesn't love the beach? Feeling the warmth of the sun, getting some reading done, playing frisbee and volleyball, swimming in the ocean, playing in the waves. Sure, you get sand all over you, but it comes with the territory.

Source

Avalon Park in Stony Brook. Very cool, very serene park with boardwalks, water, trails, trees, animals, and an interesting Labyrinth in the middle, which you'll need to see for yourself.

Source

The Holtsville Ecology Center. Many people think this is just a mini zoo, but it's much more than that. The animals are part of the nature preserve and ecology center, but there is also a triple pool complex, an exercise trail fitness course, greenhouses, and a picnic area.

Source

Fireworks at Jones Beach July 4th. I haven't gone to see this spectacular display of lights in quite a few years, but it was always spectacular. There's nothing quite like this show. However, I'm just as happy staying at home and barbecuing with family and friends.

Personal photo

And one of my favorite things is summer concerts. This is a picture from a Disturbed concert I went to two summers ago. This wasn't actually taken on Long Island, and often the concerts aren't held here, but it's local enough.

How about you? What's the best thing about summer in your area?

Jump back over to Concrete Jane to see how you can participate each week, and be entered to win yummy prizes and have a donation made in your name to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Anyone can join in!

Lesson Learned in Friendship

Back again at Mama Kat's weekly writing prompts.

Today I chose number 5:

Share something mean someone had said to you once. Why has it stuck with you after all these years?

Angela and I were inseparable. Every waking moment was spent with each other. Though we were in the same sixth grade class in our last year of elementary school, we didn't really become friends until the first day of junior high.

I was a lost puppy that first day. Attempting to become accustomed to the school layout, having eight different classes with eight different teachers, and not one of them the entire morning included scheduling me with any of my friends.

Until I walked into science class in the middle of the day with Mr. Harvey. I stopped briefly in the doorway, surveying the room. The black chalkboard, the middle-aged man with graying hair standing at the front desk, the windows perfectly aligned behind the black counter across the room, and the dark brown student desks, light glaring off the shiny surfaces.

I gazed around, praying that at least one person I knew would be in this class with me.

Then I heard it.

"Kerry!"

I snapped my head left toward the sound of my name, and there was Angela, sitting in the first row, third seat. 

"Thank God!" I exclaimed and ran over to her desk, hugging her. I sat behind her, and from that day forward, nothing could tear us apart.

We had sleepovers every weekend. I would walk to her house a few blocks away or jump on the bus when school was over to her house instead of mine. We would spend the entire weekend together watching movies, jumping on her trampoline, walking around the neighborhood, playing on her computer, practicing singing our favorite songs, and staying up late just talking the night away about boys. Until she fell asleep and took up the entire bed and I would go into the living room and sleep on the couch. Seriously, how could such a tiny person take up so much room?

We were practically attached at the hip. We attended every school function and dance together. I was given a special candle at her Sweet 16 party. We talked about how we would be friends forever, sitting in rocking chairs when we were 80 or 90, still laughing about the silly things we did as teenagers. We gave each other friendship bracelets, advice on boys, and were there for each other through thick and thin, from our first puppy loves to her parents' divorce to my house fire.

Slowly, yet somehow still suddenly, things began to change. Junior year of high school, Angela broke up with her loving boyfriend of four years and started dating a guy who was the absolute opposite and completely wrong for her. She gained some new friends, he influenced her in all the wrong ways, and she succumbed to his manipulations, taking up smoking, drinking, stealing, lying to her friends and family, and even drugs. She wasn't the same girl I knew. 

We began to drift slightly, but I thought it was just a phase she was going through, trying to deal with her parents' divorce, and she would eventually come to her senses and snap out of it. I envisioned her dumping her loser boyfriend and everything he'd influenced her to do, and coming back to her real life. I was afraid she was just going to end up hurt.

But I apparently should have been more worried for myself, instead.

Through this new boyfriend of hers, Angela also acquired some new "friends," who influenced her just as badly. We hadn't talked too often anymore. I was on the computer one evening on July 3rd, when I received an instant message from her. We exchanged greetings, and she quickly indicated her objective. 

She explained she had some new friends. A new best friend, in fact, named Stephanie. She then felt compelled to tell me:

"I feel closer with her than I ever have with you."

Ouch. Seriously?! After all we'd been through, she felt closer with some new girl she'd known for five minutes over her best friend of four years? That really stung.

After beating around the bush for a few minutes, I finally got to the point.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked her.

She replied: "I guess I'm trying to say that we're not really best friends anymore."

I tried to change her mind, but I realized there was really no point. She had made her decision.

I don't particularly remember how that conversation ended, but those words really stuck with me for a long time. Someone who I thought was my best friend, who was never supposed to hurt me, stabbed me in the heart.

Luckily, a mutual friend, Jackie, was hanging out with my uncle and me the next day at Jones Beach for 4th of July fireworks. A few minutes before we were about to leave, the phone rings. Somehow I just knew it was Angela.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Kerry?" she asks, sheepishly.

"What do you want?" I demand, clearly not holding back my anger at this point.

"Can we please talk?"

"I think you've said everything you needed to say."

She pleaded to arrange a time to talk, claiming she was so sorry, she didn't mean what she said, and she regretted it. I didn't feel like talking. I was hurt and angry. And I wanted to get her out of my mind and just enjoy my day with my uncle and Jackie. But eventually, we set up a time for that weekend. We agreed that I would come to her house Friday night and talk, and if it went well, I would stay over.

I went to the beach with my uncle and Jackie, and distracted myself with food, frisbee, and fireworks. 

Then Friday came. Jackie was at my house, because she knew of my arrangement with Angela and wanted to see how I was feeling about it. Not ten minutes before I was supposed to leave to go see her, the phone rang again. And again, I just knew it was Angela calling to cancel.

She apologized, saying that she had to spend the weekend at her dad's house, and that she was really sorry and that we'd reschedule because she really wanted to work things out with us.

I hung up the phone, and looked at Jackie. We both knew.

"She's lying," we said in unison.

Angela didn't know that Jackie was over. So, a few minutes later, Jackie called Angela like she would have any other day. She asked her what she was up to that night, and if she wanted to hang out. Angela responded with:

"Oh, nothing much. I'm hanging out with my boyfriend and my friend Stephanie and we're going to watch a movie."

I knew it.

Right then and there, I was done. She screwed me over twice, then lied about it. 

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. She said that by telling me we weren't best friends anymore she had made a mistake, and she wanted to talk about it, to apologize and make it up to me. Okay, fine. Even though it was hurtful, I understand that people make mistakes, so I agreed to see her. But she showed her intentions pretty clearly by canceling on me for her boyfriend and new best friend.

She called repeatedly after that. She tried instant messaging me apologizing, but I was too angry to forgive her. Her words, then her actions, stuck with me. In my mind, it proved to me how she really felt about our friendship.

It was difficult to "get over." A broken friendship often hurts more than a relationship break-up. Boys come and go, but friends are supposed to last forever. They're supposed to support you, love you, and be there for you no matter what.

One day, though, a long time after our friendship ended, I told her that I forgave her. She got excited, but before she got her hopes up, I told her that that didn't make us friends again. Instead, what she did changed what we were forever.

But by forgiving her, I could let it go and move on. Because to me, forgiveness is not about excusing or condoning what the person did. It's about letting go of a grudge, letting go of the anger in your heart, so it can finally heal.

Never Have I Ever

This post came from Mama Kat and her writing prompts.

22 Things I've Never Done:

1. Skydiving. And I never will. Except the fake whirlwind indoor skydiving.
2. Had kids. Not even close to ready.
3. Been out of the country. It makes me quite sad.
4. Swam with dolphins. On my bucket list!
5. Kissed in the rain.
6. Kissed under mistletoe.
7. Gone surfing. But I want to try.
8. Lived on my own. Oh, how badly I want to.
9. Gone on a cruise.
10. Learned to cook. Oh, I can follow a recipe. But I envy those people who can whip up a meal with random ingredients that normally do not belong together.
11. Seen a meteor shower. Every time one comes around, I forget to watch.
12. Seen a shooting star.
13. Learned to play an instrument. I played the viola in third grade, and the flute in fourth, but never mastered either. I also tried teaching myself to play guitar, but that didn't work out. Someone teach me. Please?
14. Gone white water rafting.
15. Gone through a ziplining obstacle course. Which will be accomplished this summer.
16. Gotten back to my original weight. I mean, 7 pounds 6 ounces is a little ridiculous, don't you think?
17. Had my tonsils out.
18. Gotten the flu.
19. Broken a bone.
20. Bungee jumping. Not happening.
21. Smoked a cigarette.
22. Done any illegal drug.

What have you never done?